Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s Head Master

Respected Teacher,                                                   

My son will have to learn I know that all men are not just, all men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero; that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader. Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend.

It will take time, I know; but teach him, if you can, that a dollar earned is far more valuable than five found.

Teach him to learn to lose and also to enjoy winning.

Steer him away from envy, if you can.

Teach him the secret of quite laughter. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest to lick.

Teach him, if you can, the wonder of books.. but also give him quiet time to ponder over the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hill –side.

In school teach him it is far more honourable to fail than to cheat.

Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if every one tells him they are wrong.

Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with the tough.

Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when every one is getting on the bandwagon.

Teach him to listen to all men but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad. Teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beware of too much sweetness.

Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidders; but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob… and to stand and fight if he thinks he’s right.

Treat him gently; but do not cuddle him because only the test of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage to be impatient, let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order; but see what you can do. He is such a fine little fellow, my son.

Abraham Lincoln.

Good Parenting

Hello Friends,

Parenting is not an easy task, I think we can make it little smoother by taking some positive steps and help ourselves to raise children who are responsible, honest and caring. I also have children,I want to share my knowledge about parenting which I get from various books and internet sites. I hope you will enjoy….

  •  Enjoy your children!                                

Childhood goes by faster than you think! Try to plan family time with your children. Family time does not mean an expensive outing. You can play with your children, take a walk in your neighborhood, read to them, cook with them—any time you spend with your children, it builds your relationship strong and is an opportunity to lay the important foundation of trust and love.

  • Way of tackling

Tackle your child by effective talking and you will see the magic, for example, When he/she misbehaved in front of guests, there are two ways of tackling :

1.Ineffective tackling – When you say “You were a bad boy, I will not be your Mammy anymore.”

2. Effective tackling – When you say “I am upset with the way you behaved.I am sure my good son will not repeat this again.”

“Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.” Harold Hulbert

By effective tackling you can make the child feel secure in your unconditional love for him/her, so he can understand that it is the misbehavior that you unhappy with and that you will always love him.

  • Instill moral values

Preaching what is right has never worked – children will not understand why they are not being allowed to do what they want to do. They can be made to understand through role-plays and stories, where the central character benefits out of the desired behaviour. 

 So, stories can develop better understanding and compliance and through this we can instill moral values in our children very easily.

  • Keep patience 

As parents we know that children are sometimes noisy, messy, sometimes they are screaming, covered with mud and so on…these are very common things that children mostly do but the matter is that how should we handle such situations? 

Answer is, we should take it all in stride because we have 18 years to turn this small creatures into respectable grown-ups. So, we should keep patience. No rush to get them acting like adults – they will get there in good time. 

  • Communication 

Don’t be just a parent, be a friend of your child. Foster open communication. Listen to them. Encourage freedom of speech at home. Hold their hands when they needed because when they have trust on you they will share everything with you and it will help you to guide them in the right direction and it also make your relationship strong and loving.

  • Positive attitude 

A positive attitude is so important in a world increasing in negativity and despair. Having a positive attitude means that you focus on the good things in life and do not dwell on the negative.          

 But having a positive attitude isn’t something a child is born with. It is something that needs to be developed. As a parent we can help our children in developing positive attitudes about life that will help them as they face the challenges associated with growing up. 

For example if your child strikes out while playing baseball he may think, “I am so bad at baseball. I should just quit playing.” He needs to learn to replace that negative thinking with a positive attitude and thought like, “I may have struck out, but I will practice harder and next time I will do it.” 

Love is a powerful force and it gives children a feeling of self-worth. The more a child feels loved the less likely they are to allow negative thoughts and thinking into their life. Developing a positive attitude will help your child to have a successful and independent life. 

  • Pampering 

PARENTS today tend to lavish too much affection on their children. You may have heard about the little boy who felt sorry for the butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. He decided to help so he could save the butterfly from the struggle. So he peeled the cocoon open for the butterfly. The little boy was so excited to watch the butterfly spread its wings and fly off into the sky. Then he was horrified as he watched the butterfly drift to the ground and die because it did not have the muscle strength to keep flying. 

Like the little boy, parents too often (in the name of love) want to protect their children from struggle. They don’t realize that their children need to struggle, to deal with disappointment, to solve their own problems, so they can develop their emotional muscles to develop skills and faith in themselves for the even bigger struggles they will encounter throughout their lives. 

It is not wrong to love children. But you (parents) should learn how to love them. Whenever the children go astray, willingly or unwillingly, parents should hasten to correct their faults and bring them to the right path. The obligations of parents do not end with providing food, schooling and luxuries but they need to spend quality time with their children, so they(parents) can share their experiences and knowledge with them and make them ready for facing outside world. 

  • Expectations 

These days parents expect too much from their children but every child is unique, they have their own point of views and feelings, we need to understand them. They are very innocent, our duty is only to guide them what is right and what is wrong instead of putting our liking and disliking on them. Children are God’s blessings for us, they are like flowers of our garden, let them blossom in their own way. 

  • Give yourself a break 

Be kind to yourself—you’re doing a good job! Being a parent can be challenging. No one is perfect and we learn as we go. Take the time to celebrate the great things you’ve done as a parent, and to anticipate the best from your children! 

Enjoy Childhood in all its vibrant colors. 

Good Luck.